my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
