He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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