Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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