When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
