I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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