His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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