All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
