I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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