At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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