You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
