I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
they're like a gay fantastic four
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
