I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
