then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
the raccoons are back...
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