Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
