i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This baby is an asshole
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
