I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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