His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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