dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
