They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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