I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
