i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize