I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
