That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
