Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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