Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
