Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
