I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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