She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
