we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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