The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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