he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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