remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
