Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
organizing the empties. That sober.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
