can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
