Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
