Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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