It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
