we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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