she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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