I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize