I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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