Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
