He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
