hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
