i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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