he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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