I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
