Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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