New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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