Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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