I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
