the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
