I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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