He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
