I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
