It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
