oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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