just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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